how do we choose a name?

nate and i send each other name ideas throughout the day. we agree on some…but definitely not on others, such as:

names i nixed that nate came up with: zoe, caleb, cleatus, gabriel, obediah, grover, gary, mastadon, viggo, mordecai, barry. (oh, i wish he was kidding on some of these…)

names nate nixed of mine: haven, jude, rowan, grayson, liam, eli, kate, blaise, graham, everly. (clearly, who has better taste in names?)

according to this study, 54% of parents regret the name they chose for their child. woah. that causes a little more anxiety in the naming process!

our plan is to pick a few names, keep them quiet, and make the choice when we meet our child for the first time.

how do/did you go about choosing a name?

18 responses to “how do we choose a name?

  1. Sadly Sheena… every first name I like ben didn’t. When Kasey was born I wanted to name her Kellsey Jean, but Ben wanted Kasey with a “K” to make it more for a girl, she popped out and before I could even say anything Ben blurted out “her name is Kasey Jean!” and so it was. with #2 we never even chose a girl name because Ben was POSITIVE it was going to be a boy, so sure that when Kasey was only 8 months old he announce to me “Our next kids name is going to be Brady, Brady Joseph, after my grandpa” (his first name was Joseph) and a year and 5 months later…. a boy, Brady. #3 was a struggle, because it really didn’t matter, we knew we wanted a “K” or “B” name so we went back and forth on TONS of names right up until the day she was born, I wanted Kaylyn for a girl, Ben wanted Brooke (He always thought Brooke Shields was SOOOO pretty(: ) I was set on a middle name, Joy, so no matter what I was going to get that. We did agree on a boys name, but darned if I can remember the first name, but the middle name was going to be “Edward” (My dad’s name & Ben’s other grandpa’s name) But alas, we go into delivery the baby is born and the nurse asked Ben (of all people)” So what’s her name?” Ben proudly blurts out “Brooke Joy Kowaleski!!” and so it is!!
    Even though I didn’t get my choices, I love ALL 3 names of my kids and they fit each one to a “T” and never regret the names we chose. No matter what name you give your little “nut” it wont matter because the love you have for that beautiful creation will supersede the name.

  2. When Mike and I were dating and talking about getting married. I made a deal with him. I will do the laundry and in return I get the first names. He gets middle and last (he claims the last is the most important anyways:) ). So when we found out we were expecting, I knew if it was a boy, his name would be Malachi. Mike chose his middle name “Douglas” as Malachi’s middle name (douglas is Mike’s dad’s name and Mike’s middle name). Now with Number 2 on the way I am having a bit more questions. I want a biblical name that has a strong meaning. I am trying to get past Mike’s veto power to get there. I have yet to regret Malachi’s name. Fits him and it has a great meaning. Good luck on the search!

  3. We narrowed it down to a top 5, and then when Tallie was born it didn’t seem like any of them fit! Tallulah was maybe #50 or so on our list, but for some reason it was the one. Now we have maybe 3 on the list, only one of which was on our last list. I am prepared for the possibility that none of them will fit this time, either! The names are Penelope, Marlene, and Rosalind. We like old Hollywood and grandma-y names, and Rosalind is from “As You Like It.”. 🙂 Have you looked at’s name finder? It brings up other names similar to the ones you type in. It really helped me a lot! Good luck!

    • i love those names, cara! nathan and i have agreed we really like penelope, it’s a fantastic name! can’t wait to see what you name your second child!

  4. I was very lucky that Kyle liked the name Presley. I obviously liked it because of my love for Elvis. But when I mentioned it, he loved it! (Long before a baby was in the picture.) And her middle name came from “our song”, Hey There Delilah. (Kyle re-wrote the words while he was in Iraq and sent it to me in a care package.) We decided not to go with any family names, anything too common, or anything too strange (like Apple. Haha). We also chose to keep the name between just the 2 of us. It was fun to have at least 1 secret. And to hear people’s guesses. I’m pretty sure we will do the dame thing next time.

    P.S. What’s wrong with the name Cleatus? Haha jk!

  5. David and I both liked the name Stacy for our oldest son – There was a popular western big then and character so named. Our Stacy’s middle name became the same as his Dad – Alan. Our 2nd son, took my maiden and my middle name – flipped =Patrick Lee. My second marriage and 3rd pregnancy Terry and I were convinced I was having a girl and we had a perfect name. At the time Stacy and Patrick were enthralled with Bill Cosby’s comedy routine about “Noah” and ask if it was a baby brother could they name him Noah – we said yes . Terry saying the big issue was counting how many characters so whatever the first and middle name were, plus the last didn’t exceed 26 (? memory) characters. Lo and behold on a rainy stormy afternoon complete with thunder and lightning my 3rd son was born and his mischievous older brothers were thrilled to remind me I had told them yes and so they bestowed him the name of Noah Jacob……all because of Bill Cosby’s Noah and the Ark comedy routine. Sometimes, it’s just that simple. One suggestion I would have is to look back into your family trees on both sides and see if there is an ancestor with a unique name to consider. The access to such genealogy wasn’t so available when I had my boys, and since that time I have seen some really special names in family ancestry. Have fun!

  6. Woah. Good thing Nate nixed one of those good names you came up with. I like one that is very similar. 😉 But our babes will be pals so they could be matchy matchy no matter what! Hope that you two are coming up with some names you agree on!

  7. When I was pregnant with Nathan we had agreed on his name by the time I was 11 weeks old. We didn’t know what we were having so we had a girls name picked out as well, but we never really agreed on it so it was a good thing that he was a boy and Nathan William just fits him so well. For our second we had yet another boys name picked out early (9weeks) and we both loved it, yet we struggled again with a girls name and were able to agree on a name 2 days before Kate was born. We had another struggle with how we wanted to spell her name and didn’t officially name her until she was over 24 hours old- Kathryn Elizabeth is perfect yet again for her- even though we call her Kate most of the time we use the two pretty evenly when speaking to her. Family names were really important for us to incorporate into our children’s names and we also wanted to give them a name that would be appropriate in life and grow with them into adulthood. We thought about their future and not just our like of the name when we were choosing them.

    • we’re really trying to think about the future, and not just go with names we currently like….it’s tough! thank you for sharing how you arrived at the names for your beautiful children!

  8. Nathan and I always wanted to incorporate family names. AveryAnn Audra is named after 4 people from both my side and Nate’s side. She was named by 20 weeks. Jet Loens is really unique as each letter in his first name represent a different family member. I named him as he was being cleaned off on my chest. (If he had been a girl he would have been Jetta Leona). Max Lee was the hardest, especially because Nate knew he was a boy and I didn’t. We knew either way that Lee was going to be the middle name. We had a list of 5 names, some were family names, some not. After Max was born I was exhausted, yet Nate was bound and determined not to let him go even an hour without being named. So, as I was trying to catch my breath (literally) Nate kept saying names and I kept saying no, hoping if I continually shot him down he’d get the point and come back to it when I was in a better frame of mind. But as soon as he said Max (which was on the bottom of the list, and really, in my mind not even an option) my sister gasped, and started crying. In response I said, “Max is ok.” And Nate said, “Alright! Max it is! It’s gotta be a good name if it got your sister crying.” And that was that. I tried renegotiating, but I think in Nate’s mind Max would have left the hospital without a name if he hadn’t jumped at that chance. When it comes to regrets, really Max is the only one. I wish I would have been given a little more time/say. But, when I look at him and think of the other names we had picked out, I can’t see him with any of those names. So, all in all, both Nathan and I are happy with our children’s names. Just know that whatever you and Nate decide to name little pebble will be wonderful! He/she is so lucky to have parents like you two!

    P.S. I love Jude, Rowan, and Grayson. Jude and Grayson were on our list a few times! In fact, I really wanted Max to be either Grayson or Bowen. We would have called him Gray or Bo! Still a little tear 😦 But the kids have lovingly nicknamed him Maximus (after the horse on Tangled).

  9. oh gosh. names were SO SO hard for us. like beyond hard. Amelia was probably the easiest…we had three girl names—matt’s fave (maya), my fave (amelia) and a third “just in case” name (annika)—and two boy names again matt’s fave (seth) and mine (noah)…she came out and definitely didn’t look like a maya so he gave me my favorite. LOVE it still. with chase it was a bit harder. We had basically one girl name (adeline) which was the ONLY girl name matt liked in the entire baby name book that time around. I had some others on tap just in case it was a girl, but if it had been it probably would have been adeline. For boy names we had his favorite—Chase—and mine–Micah—and I gave in to him (also found out it was great granpa’s middle name which made it better) after chase was born…it took us a few hours though to settle on it. while it wasn’t my favorite I don’t regret naming him that at all. it fits! For Grant it was the worst for boy names. I suggested probably 100 names and matt vetoed every single one of them. and yet he couldn’t come up with any he liked. when i mentioned grant we were both like “it’s okay” but we didn’t LOVE it. we had three girl names–adeline, claudia and annika…and would have LOVED to use any of those. but for boy names we could NOT agree. a few weeks before he was born we decided that we could agree Grant as a boy name….but it still took awhile after he was born to put it to paper. Even though it wasn’t a name either of us was SUPER DUPER in love with…we don’t regret it and love it because it is his name. good luck choosing. I love all your choices… you do have great name taste

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