thatcher, where did this month go? you have only been here 4 weeks, and yet i cannot picture my life without you. what did we do before you? we slept more, could do whatever we wanted at whatever time we wanted, but we would never trade that in for you. ever. you are so worth the 3am wake ups. you are so worth planning (and re-planning) our schedules. you are worth every minute. it’s hard to remember life without you, and i love that.

you’ve changed so much this month. i love seeing how much more aware you are every day. how you follow your dad when you hear him talk. i love knowing your faces, and getting to know each new one you make. your upset face? oh thatcher, it just kills me. the way you pout your bottom lip and scrunch up your forehead. oh goodness, it’s adorable. the smiles you give? they melt my heart.

we’ve been letting you cry a little more before responding to you. it physically hurts me to let you cry without picking you up. but it’s necessary. it’s important that you learn to sooth yourself. it’s important that i let you. and i’ll need to remind myself that when you’re five, in junior high, in college. i need to let you fight it out a little before responding. i need to let you do it yourself instead of jumping in right away. and your dad might have to hold me back then like he does now. and wipe my tears a little like he does now. but know i’m always here for you, baby. always. even though i might not comfort you immediately, i’m standing right there, ready to jump in.